The Test is

Two days ago a part of me started to hurt. Only a little twinge mind you, but it was hurting and I could feel it. I thought nothing of it, and just carried on as normal, lazy, doing nothing, Sunday.

One day ago a part of me started to hurt more. Only a big twinge mind you, but it was hurting and I could feel it. I thought nothing of it, and just carried on as normal, energetic, doing ward rounds, Monday.

Today a part of me started to hurt a lot. Only a lot of pain mind you, and it was hurting so much I had to stop every now and then for a break. This time, I thought a lot of it!
So, around 12, I picked up the phone and bleeped a certain registrar.

"Hello, ***logy registrar"
"Erm, oh hi. I'm Ali, a medical SHO. Are you free to talk?"
"Why of course. How can I help you?"
"Erm yes, well, I've got a bit of a problem"
"Yes, tell me who the patient is..."
"Oh that. It's me. A certain part of me really hurts now, and I'm getting a bit worried"
"Oh dear. Well listen I'm in clinic and I've got a gap now, come down and see me"
"Ah. OK, well yes I'll do that now. Thanks"

So I wandered over to "Clinic D" and found where said registrar was. He was a big, friendly person. After a brief history, he asked me to lie down and "get ready".
After "getting ready", he went ahead to examine me. Without gloves. WITHOUT GLOVES.

"Oh I see. Right, well I think it's ************. Everything feels fine"
"Great. Really hurts though"
"Yes it does. So you need some antibiotics"
"Ah thanks. Perfect"
"Yes. But we need to make sure it's not something else"
"...."
"So, I'll quickly pop by to the ultrasound room next door. You see, we run a ****** ultrasound service today. Let's see if they can do yours"
"...."
5 minutes later
"Yes, they can. It's the next room on the left"

So I wandered down to the next room on the left. A Pleasant woman with a big ultrasound machine told me to lie down on the bed and "get ready". Which I did.
She then went on to put this really cold gel all over my ****** and scan them, all the time while feeling obliged that she should talk out loud the scan results.
After about five minutes, I was told that it's all normal, and that I should report back to the big man.

So I did. He reassured me that that was great, and gave me a prescription for some antibiotics.
I thanked him profusely (why? don't know, after all he had examined me WITHOUT GLOVES), and wandered off to find the pharmacy.

I feel better now, whether by effect of the antibiotic, or by effect of food. After all it is Ramadhan and I was hungry. Perhaps my ****** was hungry too....